A family connection

Charlotte Holtam of Lewes, East Sussex began sponsoring with Plan in 2001. In April of this year, she travelled to China with her husband Nick and their daughters, Nancy and Chang, to meet her sponsored child, 14-year-old Xiaoning, for the first time. This is her story.

"Our two adopted daughters, now aged 8 and 10, were born in rural China and abandoned as babies. My husband and I decided to sponsor through Plan to somehow help combat the poverty I understand to be the main reason for their desertion, as well as to give our girls a link with their birth country.

When organising our visit, Plan staff in both Britain and China, were incredibly helpful and organised. The preparatory information we were given was excellent and I felt due care was given to both child protection and getting us to think over how we would behave on the trip.

When we started off from the city, we were in semi-desert. As we drove, the scenery changed to red earth 'wild west' canyons and completely bare earth with a few flowering apricot trees. Later in the journey the landscape changed again to terraced hills of bare yellow earth.

We stopped in the small town nearest to Xiaoning's village. Plan staff took us to a store where we bought presents for Xiaoning¿s mother - a sack of flour, a sack of rice, a can of cooking oil and some noodles.

Then it was back into the SUV. Eventually, we got to the village which was scattered around the head of a deep ravine.

There were lots of cave houses (yao dong) dug into the terraces, in lines of four or six. Inside a yao dong is a long narrow room, with an arched roof. Light comes in through an intricately carved wooden door at the front. Many had flat roofs with crops growing on them, and smoke coming out through the crops!

The family gave us a very warm and friendly welcome and our meeting was very informal and relaxed. We did not meet Xiaoning's father, as he was off in a city trying to find work, but we met her mother, three siblings, aunty and two cousins.

We were shown some of the positive changes Plan has facilitated in the community including the simple and very clean latrines in a brick hut a short way from the house and a cold water tap outside the yao dong. We learned that before the taps were installed, the villagers had to collect water from the bottom of the ravine. It would have taken at least half an hour to get down there and much longer to get back up.

Xiaoning and her family live in two caves, in a row of six - one they seemed to use for storage and the other for living in. A raised bed or kang sits at one end of the main cave. Next to it is a coal stove and there was also a small table, stools and space for storage.

As honoured guests, were invited to sit on the kang, around a low table. We had the local staple - thin, millet porridge with soya beans, and the local speciality - a sort of short fat noodle made from potato and wheat, accompanied by a tomato sauce, chopped dried chives and sesame seeds crushed with salt. The food was delicious!
 
At first, Xiaoning seemed quite shy and we did not push communication, but after we had eaten, the children began to communicate with each other. Xiaoning and her older sister were trying out their very impressive English and chatting with my two girls.

Xiaoning proudly showed us her collection of all the letters and cards we had sent over the last seven years and on a shelf, under a piece of glass, were displayed all the photos we had sent.

Xiaoning and her sisters gave my girls some beautiful origami they had made, and then showed them how to do their own. Xiaoning¿s mother, who makes the family's shoes, gave us two adult-sized embroidered slipper soles she had made.

We gave the children the rest of the gifts we had brought and shared a bag of sweets with the family. We gave Xiaoning a small photo album with a few new pictures of us and copies of all the photos we had been sent of her over the years, some coloured pencils and a book of photos of Britain.

We gave her elder sister a small sewing kit, and her younger sister a mini Etch a Sketch. We also gave Xiaoning's younger brother a basketball. He was thrilled with it and I wish we had brought one for the school as well.

We then walked around the hills and through the village towards the school, and as we passed lots more cave houses, little gardens and terraces, our girls ran ahead. When we reached the primary school we found them playing with other children in the playground, climbing on play equipment provided by Plan. It was a great joy to see our girls so at home.

The school buildings were comprised of a row of older cave rooms and a new two-storey block of small classrooms built by Plan. We met the school headmaster and visited a few classrooms which were very simple with just chairs and desks and a blackboard.

One small class of 8-year-olds chorused ¿Welcome to China' in English and sang us Happy Birthday. We gave out some pencils and sweets to the children.

I learned so much on this visit. Previously, from letters, I only had the bare facts and a lot of good wishes. Now I can visualise Xiaoning's family in their home, the scenery and community. Now I not only know what they eat but what their food tastes like, and not just where they live but how they live together as a warm and friendly family.

My children also learned a lot - about China, poverty, another life style, a different school, and the similarities between themselves and children in China. They had a ball!

We would like to visit again in a few years. My experience over five visits to China is that things change very, very fast, so it would be interesting to see what change there is in Xiaoning's village.

When we left, Xiaoning's mother said she was very happy to meet us and her eldest sister said to me in English, 'This is a very happy day for me. I will never forget.' And neither will we!"